The other night's errands contained a most dreadful task: picking out a birthday card (for another man). I spent a good 10 minutes reading every last card in the "From Son to Dad" category. The problem isn't that I don't know what I want to say or that I have a hard time articulating my love in words. On the contrary, I know exactly what I want his card to convey. It's just that I very seldom find a birthday card that comes anywhere close to communicating what I want to say or how I want to say it. I don't think I'm being too picky; or am I? I would (and do) settle for just about anything even remotely close to my desired sentiments. But it's gotten to the point now that I've resigned myself to writing a letter on a plain piece of stationary.

And here's a handy news flash: the "Christian cards" with all their pastoral scenes of happy meadow flowers and majestic mountains aren't much better. Consumerism's mark on Christian cards is disturbingly overt. Whoever writes them is good at what they do, though. If you're not careful they'll tug your sappy heartstrings all the way to the checkout counter...sometimes with a tear in your eye (although I won't confirm if this has ever happened to me).

Since I'm ranting...let me throw this in. Next time you peruse the Christian card category, take note of how many cards that quote Scripture employ the almighty ellipses (...). A lot of these cards will quote several different verses plucked from all over the Bible and then will proceed to chop them in half, take them out of context, and present them in the "The Message" translation. By the time the card-writer is done arranging the Scripture collage, he's created some Baal-like god...who worships the card's recipient and is enamored with how special and perfect the person is.

Those cards nauseate me. I'm in the market for something a little more real, a card that attributes credit to the only Person to whom credit is due. So maybe what I'm looking for is a Puritan card*; or something that rings in my ear like one of Wesley's hymns. So until I find a card flavored with humility and seasoned with thanksgiving, I'll keep looking*. And who knows, maybe these cards will look a little more like a plain piece of stationary with a Psalm scribbled on the top. I'm just not convinced I can trust Hallmark to conjure up a Christ-exalting birthday card*.

;) NOTE to Reader: Please note sarcasm at appropriate points (*)

And what would that Puritan Hallmark card say?

"I hope you enjoyed another year of not trusting God. Repent or burn!"

"You should be in Hell."

"You hate God, but He loves you anyway."

Any other suggestions?

My attempt at tounge-in-cheek humor...

I don't know what it would say, but I don't think you'd be in too much of a mood to celebrate after you read it.